A question that’s been helping me a ton lately:
“What would my higher self do?”
Some people like to ask, “What would [fill in the blank with someone they admire or even worship - e.g. Jesus] do?”
That was never super helpful for me. Jesus wasn’t an American teenage girl in 2001. He didn’t go to college. He didn't own a business or use social media. He wasn’t a mother. And I guarantee his personality and preferences were very different from mine.
So instead I've been asking "What would my higher self do?" Actually I just think "higher self" as I go about my day. It's been amazing. And SO SIMPLE.
And lest you think my higher self has me running around super productive all day... this week I lay down to take a nap with my baby, fully believing that it was my highest call for that moment.
What about your higher self? Who is that person? What would she choose? What would he do? And if you're not sure, reply to this email and schedule a free one-hour consult with me. I would be honored to help you see your higher self.
I bought a new home this week. When signing all the paperwork, my realtor made a joke about it being the second time my husband and I had bought and sold a house this year. The loan officer smirked, "What, you didn't want to live there?"
Feeling somewhat sheepish, I launched into a clumsy explanation about what exactly happened and why we didn't move into the other house. My words faded with every signature, and the guy continued his smirk until finally putting me out of my misery with, "Yeah, I once owned three houses. Had one, bought a new one, decided I didn't want to live in it, and bought another."
The confidence with which he shared that floored me. Like it was no big deal that he bought a house and CHANGED HIS MIND. And then bought another on top of that to boot!
But guess what? It's no big deal if you change your mind, Monica! You get to do that. As many times as you want.
And whatever happened with that other house we bought is kind of irrelevant at this point. Reasons, reasons, blah blah blah...the bottom line is we didn't want to live there.
I'm continuing to internalize this: I don't need to explain my feelings, my values, my decisions, or my preferences. And you don't need to explain yours, either. It's your life. Do what you want and OWN IT.
I challenge you to own something in your life this week without explanation. And I'd love to hear how it goes if you care to share.
A couple of months ago I told you I had formed a habit of making my bed every morning. It’s a habit I was able to form rather quickly, unlike many other habits I’ve attempted over the years.
Imagining I was on a roll of some sort, I added four new habits to integrate into my life. Truth be told, it was partly because my new planner had a habit tracker with four slots and I just decided if that was the standard (whose standard, Monica???) then surely I could manage it. And you know what? I haven’t gotten any of them to stick.
When I formed the bed-making habit, it was the only one I was working on. I’d just had a baby and didn’t expect much from myself in terms of world-changing personal growth. I’d also internalized a practical need for it, since baby and I spent a lot of time on that bed.
These other four habits are disparate and a little arbitrary, not to mention the fact that they are FOUR instead of ONE.
So instead I am looking at my life and what’s ahead and asking myself, what’s the next thing I want to integrate? What ONE thing?
And I’ve decided that one next thing is brushing my teeth first thing in the morning. Not after breakfast, not before I leave the house, but right away, per my dentist’s recommendation. Even though it seems like such a small thing, I haven’t been able to master it while trying to implement three other things. Now that I have a focus, I will pour my rewiring efforts into this one thing, and I’m confident that I’ll have a new habit in three weeks.
What’s the one next habit you’d like to form?
Until next week,
We often hear that “you can't have it all.” And maybe you can’t have everything in the way you imagine it.
But my question isn’t “can you have both?” it’s “how can you have both?”
How can you have money AND time?
How can you have a career AND homeschool your kids?
How can you do what you want AND consider the feelings of others?
How can you be a solopreneur AND get the camaraderie and encouragement of a team?
How can you have a full calendar AND stay grounded?
How can you exercise every day AND get enough sleep?
Having to choose between two very close priorities can feel impossible. So what if you don’t have to choose? What if it just doesn’t look the way you expect?
I'd love to hear what you want to coexist in your life!