The magic of a new perspective

My kid is afraid of “scary lamps.” Scary Lamps are basically any ornate or unusual lamp, along with what I grew up referring to as a “halogen lamp” - a tall floor lamp with a round base and a long tube connecting to an upside-down dome lamp at the top. Despite the fact that I generally agree with his categorization of which lamps are fine and which ones are scary, I have tried to help him broaden his window of tolerance in this area.


Here’s what doesn’t work:

• Suggesting that lamps can’t be scary (“It’s just a lamp.”)
• Invalidating his feelings (“Lamps aren’t scary.”)
• Telling him to focus on something else (“Just ignore it.”)
• Repeated exposure to the offending lamp.
• Engaging with the lamp, touching it, turning it on.
• Covering the lamp with a blanket, which can actually make it scarier.

Last winter we were staying at an AirBnb for over a month. And it had a scary lamp. What to do?


Someone had the genius idea to rename it. We called it a Silly Lamp. We talked about how funny it looked. And it totally changed his perspective. No more problems with the lamp. Eventually it became “just a lamp” and he could “just ignore it” but not until after he thought about it differently.


Changing perspective changes everything. And the best part is that you are 100% in control of your perspective. You get to choose your thoughts.


What new choices will you make this week?


Monica


P.S. Did you do anything “hard” or “scary” last week? I posted an announcement of my new baby on my FB page. I know…NOT hard or scary, but I’ve generally seen it that way BECAUSE OF MY THOUGHTS about privacy and people and Facebook as a company and wanting to honor my children and their lack of ability to decide for themselves what is shared about them. SO MANY EXCUSES can keep me quiet. I’m going to keep posting, though, so feel free to follow along!